Disappointed Eyes

Time and time again I've heard him make empty promises. I stopped believing him a long time ago until it started to affect our daughter. I'm coming to see her? Oh I couldn't something came up. I'm coming tomorrow. I'm going to get her this weekend. Building up her hopes and then crushing them all over again. She falls for it every time because like most kids their daddy's can't do any wrong. She forgives him and the same thing happens EVERY TIME. Then one day my 5 year old daughter came to me and looked my dead in my eyes and asked me this question. Mommy...why doesn't daddy love me? It completely threw me off guard. I wasn't expecting that at all. I asked her what made her think that her daddy doesn't love her (I knew but I wanted to hear what she had to say). She said because he NEVER keeps his promises and that her younger sister ALWAYS sees her daddy but she NEVER gets to see hers so that must be mean that he doesn't love her or care about her. She thought that she was doing was something wrong. When that was far from the case. She was sad and all i could tell her was her daddy had a lot of growing up to do. That he wasn't around because he was more focused on other things. She asked what could be more important then her when he rarely saw her. And I said nothing is more important than you...but your dad is weird. I couldn't say what I wanted to say to her (That her dad was a jerk and wasn't worthy of her in the first place) But I wasn't going to be one of those mothers who put their kids against their father. No matter how mad they made me. So after that conversation I told him that if he wasn't going to be around then to STOP making false promises to her. She's old enough to know that you don't mean what you say and your hurting her. That he missed half of her life for stupid choices that he made not her and it was starting to hurt her...It's not like we weren't getting along. We have NEVER had any problems except that he is a bad father so he couldn't use that excuse for not being around. I told him that until he was MAN enough to be her daddy and not just her donar then he could just leave her and I alone. My daughter heard the end of the conversation and thought that I was pushing her daddy away but I had to explain to her that I was trying to protect her. she said that her dad was her hero and she loved him (I was thinking please get another hero because he's not hero material). I said instead that her dad would be around when he got his self together. She took it ell and now she doesn't ask about him much. She understands that even though he's not around (mainly because he's in jail now) that one day he will be. (Hopefully for her sake.) *Not every man is a good man. And not every man is meant to be a father/daddy. It takes someone who is worthy to complete the task. Because soon enough your kids start catching onto what your doing. You start seeing the hurt and disappointment in their eyes..and then you start hearing it in their voice. If you can walk around with new shoes and a car you should find the time to see your kids and take care of them as well. Their moms didn't make them on their own. GROW UP. *